i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize