Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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