Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
