Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
