Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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