I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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