just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
