im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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