but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
