That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
