You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
