My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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