So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
