insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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