My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Life is so much better after having sex.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
