There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
