There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We left the knife in your bed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
