as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
