I am in a vortex of obligation.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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