I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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