you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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