i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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