Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
