Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
