it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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