If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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