She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
