It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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