can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
