This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize