I want to walk on stilts...naked
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
