so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
