i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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