Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
