you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
