you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
