I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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