my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
