i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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