in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize