yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
