I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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