I feel like abortions should bother me more
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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