wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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