What did we do last night that was yellow?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize