Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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