I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
