this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
