i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
