There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
