She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
