kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
