she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
