My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
