I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
