3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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