so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize